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How did this critter wind up in Chitown...
..& how many more are on the loose ?

S. American critter found sleeping on Ill. porch

Jun 5, 10:43 AM (ET)


CHICAGO (AP) - A small, furry, long-tailed critter found napping on a Chicago porch is apparently more than 2,000 miles away from where it belongs. Animal control experts said an exotic kinkajou was found sleeping Thursday in the city's Pilsen neighborhood. Nobody knew what it was until Lincoln Park Zoo experts identified it.

The National Geographic Web site said kinkajous are related to raccoons. They're typically found not on Chicago porches but in the trees of tropical forests in Central and South America.

Animal control experts suspect it was an escaped pet.

Officials are waiting for someone to claim the animal, which isn't illegal to own in Illinois. If nobody does, it likely will end up in an exotic animal sanctuary.

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Information from: WFLD-TV.

We shoulda made the trip down-under on Saturday...
..why can't we celebrate this day in the USA ?

Group holds 'whores' day in Australia

Published: June 6, 2010 at 3:43 PM SYDNEY, June 6 (UPI)

-- Groups representing sex workers in Australia held a nationwide International Whores Day Saturday to call for uniform anti-discrimination laws, observers said.

Janelle Fawkes, head of the Scarlet Alliance, said laws protecting sex workers in Tasmania, Queensland and the Australian Capital Territory are not enough and should extend to the other territories and states, the Australian Broadcasting Corp. reported.

The International Whores Day event was about creating awareness about discrimination, Fawkes told the ABC.

"Currently levels of discrimination against sex workers are unacceptably high," she said, "from prices to advertise in newspapers, through to getting bank loans, to being affected in custody battles because of our sex work experience being used against us."
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J...they didn't have pics...dammit !




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"To Bra or not to Bra...
"Either way, you aren't allowed in..."

Bra causes headache for lawyer visiting Miami jail

Jun 13, 8:41 AM (ET)


MIAMI (AP) - An attorney claims she couldn't visit her client at a South Florida detention center because of the undergarment she was wearing. The attorney said an underwire bra set off a metal detector at the Miami Federal Detention Center earlier this month. Guards at the facility then wouldn't let the woman inside.

According to The Miami Herald, the attorney removed the bra in a bathroom and again tried to enter the detention center. This time, guards refused to let her inside because she wasn't wearing a bra.

The woman later e-mailed other attorneys about the incident.

Officials at the detention center declined to comment to the newspaper, as did the attorney who was involved.

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Information from: The Miami Herald, http://www.herald.com
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J...story lacks "punch" without pics !

Three drunks & a goat...
Not a joke, but for real !!

DUI Checkpoint nabs 3 drunk drivers and a goat

It was a routine night at a sobriety check point in Bedford County Friday. Until one deputy heard knocking sounds coming from a car trunk.

Bedford County Deputy Allison Key asked the driver, 32-year-old Fiona Ann Enderdy, what was in her trunk. Enderdy replied, "A Goat!" She wasn't lying. Deputy Key had the trunk opened and there thrashing around was a goat, bound at the feet and panting heavily in the sweltering heat. An animal control officer taking part in the DUI Checkpoint said the trunk still registered at 94 degrees even after being open for 10 minutes.

Enderdy told Deputy Key she bought the goat from a farmer as a gift for her four Kenyan passengers who currently live in Lynchburg. She also told the deputy that in the United Kingdom, where Enderdy claimed to be from, that carrying a goat in your trunk is an acceptable practice.

Enderdy, a Washington, D.C. resident, was charged with "Cruelty to an Animal" and released. The goat was given some water and a check up and sent to the Bedford County Pound.

Bedford County authorities stopped a total of 14,906 vehicles between 7:00 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. on June 11. 82 of those turned into arrests or citations. Three of the 82 were DUIs, one was a drug bust and one was the aforementioned goat cruelty case.

The following government agencies participated in the DUI Checkpoint on 460 near the Bedford-Campbell County line: Bedford Police Department, Lynchburg Police Department, Campbell County Sheriff's Office, Amherst County Sheriff's Office and the Virginia State Police.
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J...thinks there might be a good joke in this story ?

"tonight's fight is brought to you ...
...started by...Natty Light !!!"

Land O'Lakes woman accused of fighting boyfriend over last beer

By Erin Sullivan, Times Staff Writer
In Print: Friday, June 18, 2010


LAND O'LAKES — At 8:30 Wednesday night, a 53-year-old man sat in a chair, drinking the last beer in the house.

His girlfriend wanted it.

Elizabeth Breeden, 41, "went off" on him and tried to grab it out of his hand at their home on McKaig Lane in Land O'Lakes, according to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office.

He wouldn't let go.

Breeden ripped the Natural Light can in half, spilling the lager on her boyfriend, his chair and the floor, a report states. The boyfriend stood up. Breeden slapped him in the face. Then she kicked him in the groin, authorities said.

Breeden told a deputy that her boyfriend kicked her and threw beer on her, which is why she ripped the can in half.

She was arrested and charged with domestic battery. This is her 18th arrest since 1999 — with charges such as possession of cocaine, shoplifting, fraud and failing to appear in court, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.

The boyfriend told authorities he started dating Breeden in February and she moved in with him in May. He didn't want to press charges, the report states.

As of Thursday, Breeden was being held at the Pasco County jail in lieu of $1,000 bail. The report said Breeden was "extremely intoxicated" and there were "numerous Natural Light beer cans in the trash can."

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J...hehehe !

The good news: we won't have to lose that weight !
The bad news: caskets come in PLUS sizes !?!

Plus-sized casket business thriving

Published: June 23, 2010 at 1:55 PM

LYNN, Ind., June 23 (UPI) -- An Indiana coffin maker specializing in plus-sized orders said business is booming amid the recession because of the obesity epidemic.

Goliath Casket of Lynn, Ind., said the obesity epidemic has been keeping business strong, with the largest casket made by the company a 7-foot-by-7-foot coffin for a man in Alaska, Weight World reported Wednesday.

The company said it was set up in response to the few options available for plus-sized coffins 25 years ago and regularly produces coffins measuring 4 feet by 4 feet.

Weight World said recent statistics indicate 28 percent of the U.S. population was obese in 2009, showing no change from 2008 despite a 3 percent increase in exercise.
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J...gonna fit in a shoebox. I'm being cremated !

Yes, this is odd news. Especially when...
..BP is turning to an actor to solve the oil spill !

Costner cleanup device gets high marks from BP

Fri Jun 25, 5:57 pm ET

It was treated as an oddball twist in the otherwise wrenching saga of the BP oil spill when Kevin Costner stepped forward to promote a device he said could work wonders in containing the spill's damage. But as Henry Fountain explains in the New York Times, the gadget in question — an oil-separating centrifuge — marks a major breakthrough in spill cleanup technology. And BP, after trial runs with the device, is ordering 32 more of the Costner-endorsed centrifuges to aid the Gulf cleanup.

The "Waterworld" actor has invested some $20 million and spent the past 15 years in developing the centrifuges. He helped found a manufacturing company, Ocean Therapy Solutions, to advance his brother's research in spill cleanup technology. In testimony before Congress this month, Costner walked through the device's operation—explaining how it spins oil-contaminated water at a rapid speed, so as to separate out the oil and capture it in a containment tank:

The device can purportedly take in thousands of gallons of oil-tainted water and remove up to 99% of the oil from it. On Thursday, BP posted to its YouTube page a video of the news conference featuring Costner and BP Chief Operating Officer Doug Suttles announcing the news.


"Doug Suttles was the first guy to step up in the oil industry," Costner said at the presser, "and I'm really happy to say when he ordered 32 machines, it's a signal to the world, to the industry, where we need to be."

Suttles said the additional machines will be used to build four new deep-water systems: on two barges and two 280-foot supply boats.

"We tested it in some of the toughest environments we could find, and actually what it's done — it's quite robust," Suttles said. "This is real technology with real science behind it, and it's passed all of those tests." He added that Costner's device has proved effective at processing 128,000 barrels of water a day, which "can make a real difference to our spill response efforts."

In his congressional testimony, Costner recounted his struggle to effectively market the centrifuge. He explained that although the machines are quite effective, they can still leave trace amounts of oil in the treated water that exceeds current environmental regulations. Because of that regulatory hurdle, he said, he had great difficulty getting oil industry giants interested without first having the approval of the federal government.
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J...H-m-m-m-m

There are some things worth fighting over, but...
..this kinda shit ain't one of them !

Men face assault charges after dog doo dispute

Jun 30, 9:20 PM (ET)


HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) - Three men face assault charges after they allegedly attacked an off-duty Harrisburg police officer in a dispute over dog waste. Police said brothers Matthew Stauffer, 33, and Daniel Stauffer, 31, attacked police Officer John Doll earlier this month.

Investigators said the Stauffers confronted Doll about his dog's waste, even though Doll had already bagged it. According to court documents, Doll identified himself as an off-duty officer and got both men to the ground before a third man attacked him.

Police charged the Stauffers and 25-year-old Noah Coburn with aggravated assault, conspiracy and public drunkeness. All three men are free on bail.

Phone listings for all three suspects were not available Wednesday.

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Information from: The Patriot-News, http://www.pennlive.com/patriotnews
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J...couldn't make up shitty stories like this...lol !

When is it allright for kids to view porn ?
...When thay view it with a parent, of course !!

Mom Fights To Change Texas Porn Law Reporting
Marianne Martinez DALLAS (CBS 11 / TXA 21) ―

Jul 2, 2010 4:46 pm US/Central Dallas

Crystal Buckner calls herself a "mom on a mission."

"I want to protect other kids, so this doesn't happen to anybody else's kids," she said.

Last year, Crystal said her ex-husband showed pornography on a home computer to their two girls, who were eight and nine years old at the time. It happened in Randall County in West Texas.

"No child should know what my children know right now," she said.

Crystal believes the incident happened last February. She learned about it months later because her daughters told a counselor. Immediately Crystal contacted police. She wanted prosecutors to file charges against her ex-husband, but there was a roadblock.

"The law is actually protecting, not the victims, but the people who did the wrong," she said.

Texas law says minors can view pornography if they're accompanied by a parent or guardian. It was originally designed to allow for sex education.

Eventually, the Randall County District Attorney figured out a way around the law, and charged Jack Buckner with two counts of child endangerment.

Crystal has partnered with the Dallas-based Lillian Smith Foundation, a family violence foundation, to get the law-re-written.

"I think it needs to say it's illegal for all adults to show children porn," said JJ Smith, the President of the Lillian Smith Foundation.

Smith said pornography is a dangerous gateway to other abuses.

"If you show a child porn, after a while, it acclimates them and they begin to think, this is normal," he said.
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J...doesn't believe everything is bigger in TX...

Only in Japan.....
...but, ..............WHY ?

Only in Japan: The Peeing Dog

Japan is a somewhat unusual nation with a penchant for oddities like blowup dolls, canned-bread vending machines and wacky phone booths. The Japanese apparently also like urine, because they’ve just invented a robotic dog that walks and pees.

Up for preorder at the Japan Trend Shop is the Peeing Dog, a robotic toy dog designed to replicate the behavior of a dog with a full bladder. Upon being wound up, it walks, stops, raises its hind leg, takes a pee and then repeats from the beginning until it’s fully unwound.

If you’re repulsed, then don’t feel bad. Even dog lovers cringe at the thought of wiping up dog urine, yet the Japanese feel compelled to take everything to the next level. That’s what makes them such an avant-garde people.

The Peeing Dog will be released on July 5, but can be preordered for only $34.00, plus $18.00 shipping & handling.
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J...weird shit...I mean piss !

Why are they wasting their time and money inventing something as stupid as a peeing dog. If they really wanted to do something important they would invent a robotic pooper scooper.

Who knew.....
..that a "mullet" might be worth something ?

Sporting a mullet pays off at Pittsburgh Zoo


Jul 6, 6:58 AM (ET)


PITTSBURGH (AP) - Mullet conservation efforts are under way in Pittsburgh - the hairstyle, not the fish.

The Pittsburgh Zoo and PPG Aquarium gave reduced admission Monday to those sporting the business-in-front, party-in-back look.

The tongue-in-cheek promotion kicked off a week of discount gimmicks at the zoo.

Stuck in the '60s? A tie-dye shirt will get you in the gates for $5 on Thursday. On Friday, the zoo's Facebook friends can get the lower price.

On Monday, the person with the best mullet won a behind-the-scenes zoo tour.

And the prize for the runners-up? A chance for a free haircut.

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Online:

The Pittsburgh Zoo and PPG Aquarium: http://www.pittsburghzoo.com/

This makes me wish I was younger, Chinese &...
..going to college in Japan !

Free Sex for Chinese Students in Japan!?

Japanese adult film star Anri Suzuki, 24, is offering free sex to Chinese students in Japan as a form of reparation for Japan’s World War II sins.

Suzuki recently took a break from porn to earn her doctorate in Japanese history. Achieving such a prestigious honor required that she write a graduate paper. The one she wrote, entitled “The History of the Japanese Invasion into China,” focused on two 20th century wars fought between China and Japan.

One such war was the second Sino-Japanese War, which occurred between 1937 and 1945. In particular, this war led to the Nanjing Massacre in which up to 300,000 Chinese civilians were raped and/or murdered by the Imperial Japanese Army.

Upon learning about the Nanjing Massacre, Suzuki was so overcome with grief that she announced plans to repay China for her country’s sins, one man (or boy) at a time.

She told the Korean Times, “We have to respect history and cannot obliterate it. I want to cure the wounds of Chinese with my body, and I am practicing this by having sex with Chinese students in Japan.”

She added, “I think it is psychological compensation to them. Actually, Chinese students treat me more friendly and comfortably than Japanese.”

So if you’re a young Chinese student looking to enroll in a foreign college, then I suggest you apply to a Japanese school.

Never any need to make up stories...
..real life is much more interesting !

"Zombies" crash on I-84 near Lloyd exit

by Justin Burton, KGW news staff

kgw.com

Posted on July 9, 2010 at 11:38 PM


PORTLAND, Ore. -- A car full of people dressed as zombies crashed on Interstate 84 near downtown Portland on Friday, causing initial confusion by people who witnessed the crash.

Portland Police said the car was swerving in the eastbound lanes of the freeway just east of the Lloyd District just after 9:30 p.m. when it rolled over and crashed onto its top.

Emergency crews took five victims from the crash to area hospitals with non-life-threatening injuries.

Police said that in their investigation they learned that the people inside the car were dressed as zombie costumes and they were headed to a party at the time of the crash.

Sgt. Greg Stewart said people who witnessed the crash initially thought the victims' injuries were much more serious, because of the zombie costumes.

"We're glad that everyone is alive, despite being 'undead'," Sgt. Stewart said, referring to the costumes.

While everyone in the car was taken to the hospital, Stewart said crews are investigating the possibility that more people were in the car at the time of the crash but fled the scene on foot.

The crash halted traffic in the eastbound lanes for about an hour, reducing travel to just one lane. All eastbound lanes were opened at around 11 p.m.
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J...more worried about vampires !

Synthetic marijuana ?...what's next ?

'Synthetic marijuana' draws fire
Officials consider ban of potent drug known as "Spice"

Gary Pettus • gpettus@clarionledger.com • July 11, 2010

Previous PageMississippi narcotics agents have smoked out a potent drug threat called "legal weed" or "synthetic marijuana," prompting cities to outlaw it and legislators to ponder a statewide ban.

Known as "Spice," "Spice Gold," "K2," "Sugar Sticks" and other names, its impact is motivating medical professionals to weigh in as well.

"It's not a legal way to get high," said Dr. Robert Cox, director of the Mississippi Poison Control Center.
"It's a legal way to get sick." The chemically laced product is marketed as herbal incense or potpourri and carries the warning, "not for human consumption."

"But we all know people are not buying marijuana synthetic-laced incense for the wonderful aroma," said Lt. Curtis Spiers, commander of the Narcotics Task Force of Jackson County. Many are rolling it and smoking it like cigarettes in hopes of bagging a potlike high that's illegal, even though the sale of Spice, in most areas, is not. "It's no more illegal than selling waffles or candy bars," said Marshall Fisher, director of the Mississippi Bureau of Narcotics. "Teenagers are smoking it. And we've received reports of it from north Mississippi, the Jackson area and the Coast."

In the Jackson area, "it's just hitting the stores," said Lt. Richard Spooner, narcotics unit supervisor for the Hinds County Sheriff's Department. "We haven't seen a whole lot of it here yet, but it could become a real problem." Apparently, the problem is bigger on the Gulf Coast, where Dr. Andrew Marsh has seen "quite a few cases" in hospital emergency rooms.

"It's so potent that if people get up too quickly after smoking it, they pass out," said Marsh, an ER physician for the Singing River Health System in Ocean Springs and Pascagoula.
"We treated one woman who had passed out, hit the corner of a cabinet and almost lost her eye.
"It won't kill you outright, but it impairs your ability to function and to reason.DUH !
"It's not regulated in any way, unlike the nicotine in cigarettes. And you can't detect it in a urine test."
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