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PostPosted: Wed Apr 16, 2008 12:14 am 
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We change the subject today kids. We are now going to study drive through ordering procedures...
...don't order the side of marijuana !

Police find side order of marijuana in man's fried chicken


Apr 15, 11:15 PM (ET)


MAGNOLIA, Ark. (AP) - Police in Magnolia, Ark., say it wasn't the fried chicken in Savalas Vantoli Stewart's car that gave off a funky smell.

Instead, officers who pulled over Stewart on Friday night say they found a side dish of marijuana hidden in a recently purchased box of chicken.

Police say officers smelled marijuana coming from the car and found it after Stewart consented to a search. Officers say they also found several Ecstasy pills in Stewart's pockets.

The 33-year-old Waldo resident faces a misdemeanor marijuana possession charge and felony drug possession charge.

A deputy at the Columbia County jail says Stewart was released Monday to await a court appearance. A telephone number for Stewart in Waldo could not be found.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:05 pm 
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Oh, My ! , My ! our lesson was to be about defensive techniques today, kiddies....
.....but, THIS is "offensive" !

Truckload of human feces spills on Indiana roadway

Apr 17, 8:30 PM (ET)


CROWN POINT, Indiana (AP) - Indiana 55 has reopened after a truckload of human feces spilled onto the roadway in northwestern Indiana's Crown Point.

The driver told police he was hauling treated human feces from a water recycling plant in Portage when the load spilled about 10:30 a.m. Thursday.

The Lake County hazardous materials response team came to clean up the mess, along with the Crown Point Fire Department and Indiana State Police.

The northbound and southbound lanes of the highway were closed during the cleanup.

The Indiana Department of Transportation cited the driver for an unsecured load.

---

Information from: The Times, http://www.thetimesonline.com

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:17 pm 
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This is funny, but offensive, too....
...how the HELL did this guy find the time to make all these calls ?


Romanian fined for allegedly making 6,442 profane calls

Apr 17, 5:06 PM (ET)


BUCHAREST, Romania (AP) - A Romanian man has been fined for making 6,442 profane phone calls to an emergency number, police said Thursday. The 24-year-old man, who lives in a village in southern Romania, was identified in February and fined $223 in April after a checkup showed he was mentally sound, said Daniela Salaoru, police spokeswoman for Ialomita county police.

Police did not identify the caller. But the Evenimentul Zilei newspaper said he was a well-digger, and reported that he called the 112 emergency number from November to January to swear at the operators. He used a prepaid mobile phone, which does not immediately make it possible to identify the caller.

The newspaper said he denied he was the culprit. It reported that his mother said he was a loner and that she saw him talking on the phone a lot, but did not know with whom.

Romanian authorities say that over 90 percent of calls to 112 are hoaxes or non-emergencies. In November, the European Union, which Romania joined in 2007, threatened legal action against Romania for deficiencies in its 112 system, mainly the failure to locate callers who use mobile phones.

Romanian authorities say the system will begin to locate mobile callers this summer.

Ray Syevens could write a sequel to "It's Me Again, Margaret" about this guy,,,,he needs to take up pool or get himself a girl...lol!

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 8:44 am 
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Jack Flanagan wrote:
Colonoscopy Humor. May as Well Try to Have Fun !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


this came to me in an email, I've seen it somewhere before and it's still funny !

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"?

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"?

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"?

5. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"?

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there


Don't forget #14. Hey doc, are both your hands supposed to be on my shoulders? :mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 1:27 am 
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Jack - what do you do for a living? Don't tell me you drive a human feces delivery truck.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 8:41 am 
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RunScott wrote:
Jack - what do you do for a living? Don't tell me you drive a human feces delivery truck.

I was assuming it was a Bovine feces deliver truck, otherwise known as BS.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 4:39 pm 
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Mama's in the kitchen, frying up the chicken.....
...WTF ! where'd that gator come from !

Woman finds 8-foot alligator in her Florida kitchen


Apr 22, 9:21 AM (ET)


OLDSMAR, Fla. (AP) - And some people get jittery about mice in the kitchen.

Authorities say 69-year-old central Florida woman found an 8-foot long alligator prowling in her kitchen late Monday night.

Sandra Frosti says the gator must have pushed through the back porch screen door and then went inside through an open sliding glass door at her home in Oldsmar, just north of Tampa. It then apparently strolled through the living room, down a hall and into the kitchen.

A trapper with Animal Capture of Florida removed the alligator, which was cut by a plate that was knocked to the ground during the chaos. But no one inside the house was injured.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:23 pm 
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We've all heard of a (rubber) check that bounces...
...how about one that closes down the bank !

Smelly check at Connecticut bank prompts hazmat call

Apr 26, 10:27 AM (ET)


NEW MILFORD, Conn. (AP) - An overpowering bad odor at a Bank of America branch office in New Milford prompted an emergency response from state environmental officials who discovered a bad check. It wasn't a check that was fake. It was smelly.

The Department of Environmental Protection made the discovery after evacuating the bank Thursday afternoon.

The stinky smell turned out to be from a paycheck deposited by a man who transferred machine oil from his hands to the check before he handed it to a teller through the drive-up window.

The DEP determined there was no hazard, and the bank reopened for business about an hour later.

---

Information from: Republican-American, http://www.rep-am.com

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“he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions” (I Timothy 6:4)

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2008 5:29 pm 
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Jack Flanagan wrote:
I don't like spiders and snakes...as the old Jim Stafford song said...but this woman thought the rats and snakes were her friends....
...kinda like some thought JR was (a friend).


Woman Found Living With Rats and Snakes


Apr 10, 6:26 PM (ET)


ROCHESTER, Wash. (AP) - Authorities say a woman has been found living with hundreds of rats and four malnourished snakes in a home outside Rochester.

Thurston County Animal Services Director Susanne Beauregard says an official from the Area Agency on Aging alerted authorities about a month ago, but the woman has been uncooperative. She says the woman calls the rats her friends.

On Wednesday a search warrant was obtained and officers found the floor covered with rat droppings and the carpets soggy with rat urine. Beauregard says two malnourished boa constrictors, a corn snake and a king snake were seized from cages.

Investigators believe the woman bought some rats to feed the boa constrictors, but they got loose and filled the house with their offspring.

---

Information from: The Olympian, http://www.theolympian.com


I guess there's something good coming out of this story......
..."Adopt a Rat"......sorry not my kind of pet


Rats from infested house offered up for adoption as pets

Apr 25, 9:39 PM (ET)


ROCHESTER, Wash. (AP) - Rats from a heavily infested house here are being trapped to be offered for adoption as pets.

After being alerted by neighbors, Thurston County animal control officials served a search warrant on April 9 at the residence of Michele Diller, 64. They found that pet rats had ruined the house, chewing through walls, cupboards, drawers and wires, soaking carpets with urine and covering floors with feces. The officials removed a cat, four severely malnourished snakes, five mice and two rats.

Since then, county health officials have said the house will be condemned and Diller has moved to an apartment in neighboring Lewis County to await assisted-living housing.

Poisoned traps were set for a time to eliminate the rats, apparently the offspring of a few Diller purchased as food for the snakes, and more than 100 dead rats have been removed, said Hilary Price of RatsPacNW in Seattle.


Poison was used before her volunteer group got involved, and the rest of the rats are being trapped live to be offered for adoption, said Price, the sister of former Seattle Mariners pitching coach Bryan Price.

Rodent enthusiasts around the state constitute "a huge rat community," Price said.

As of Thursday the group had captured 29 live rats, including 10 babies.

"They're very smart, they're very clean, they can do tricks," Price said. "They're like little miniature dogs."

Before agreeing to move, Diller was saying, 'You can't hurt them, they're my friends,'" said Susanne Beauregard, director of Animal Services.

The rats could not survive in the wild because Diller fed them cat food, so they have no scavenging skills, and poor eyesight would also make them easy prey, Price said.

Diller has been promised her cat, Cheyenne, will be returned once she has long-term accommodations, which could happen as early as May 1, Beauregard said. Two snakes have been adopted by new owners and two red-tailed boa constrictors are recovering under veterinary care.

---

Information from: The Olympian, http://www.theolympian.com

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PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:14 am 
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Today we study some things not to do while in the "big house".....
...#1 Don't Share Your Snack Cake !


Ohio judge to decide man's fate for sharing snack cake

May 2, 3:18 PM (ET)


MCARTHUR, Ohio (AP) - A judge in southern Ohio must decide whether to send a man to prison for sharing a Little Debbie snack cake. The case involves 21-year-old Timothy Caudill, who last year was held in a residential community corrections program in Nelsonville for breaking into a bar.

While there, prosecutors said he bought the oatmeal creme pie from a vending machine and shared it with a fellow inmate who was on restriction and wasn't allowed access to snacks.

Prosecutors in Vinton County have asked Common Pleas Judge Jeffrey Simmons to revoke Caudill's probation and put him in prison for nine months.

Caudill's attorney Claire Ball said that's outrageous. Ball says keeping Caudill out of a state prison would leave cell space for a more serious offender.

---

Information from: The Columbus Dispatch, http://www.dispatch.com

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PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2008 12:17 am 
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Jack Flanagan wrote:
Today we study some things not to do while in the "big house".....
...#1 Don't Share Your Snack Cake !


Ohio judge to decide man's fate for sharing snack cake

May 2, 3:18 PM (ET)


MCARTHUR, Ohio (AP) - A judge in southern Ohio must decide whether to send a man to prison for sharing a Little Debbie snack cake. The case involves 21-year-old Timothy Caudill, who last year was held in a residential community corrections program in Nelsonville for breaking into a bar.

While there, prosecutors said he bought the oatmeal creme pie from a vending machine and shared it with a fellow inmate who was on restriction and wasn't allowed access to snacks.

Prosecutors in Vinton County have asked Common Pleas Judge Jeffrey Simmons to revoke Caudill's probation and put him in prison for nine months.

Caudill's attorney Claire Ball said that's outrageous. Ball says keeping Caudill out of a state prison would leave cell space for a more serious offender.

---

Information from: The Columbus Dispatch, http://www.dispatch.com


....#2 Don't use $10 Words if you were in the mob...lol !


NY mobster wields vocabulary words in prison letters

May 2, 5:07 PM (ET)


NEW YORK (AP) - He's known as Vinny Gorgeous, but convicted mob boss Vincent Basciano might want to trade up to Vinny Photogenic or Vinny Pulchritudinous.

Some of his letters from federal prison, which are being intercepted and scrutinized by authorities, are full of such words as "thespian,""flippant" and "sagacious," his lawyer said Thursday.

A new form of gangland slang, or a coded message to fellow wise guys? No, attorney Ephraim Savitt said, just vocabulary Basciano wants the recipient - his 7-year-old son - to learn.

"He wants the kid to go to college and be a success," Savitt said, claiming his client's fatherly aims are being frustrated by authorities' slow pace in reviewing the letters.

Basciano "enjoys using $10 words and uses them correctly, I might add," his attorney said.

Basciano, 48, is serving a life sentence for the 2001 killing of a Mafia rival. A jury convicted him in 2006 of racketeering, attempted murder and gambling but deadlocked on a murder charge in the slaying of Frank Santoro. After a retrial, Basciano was convicted of murder in July 2007.

Basciano still faces trial on charges of plotting to kill a prosecutor.

Authorities say Basciano became the acting leader of the Bonanno organized crime family after the arrest of Joseph Massino, who is serving a life sentence for murder, racketeering and other crimes.

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PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2008 11:54 pm 
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First It Was Ferrets in the Freezer...
....Now, Cats...was there no Chinese restaurant in the neighborhood ?

Sacramento man arrested after police find 300 dead cats

May 5, 2:08 PM (ET)


SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) - Police say they have discovered 300 dead cats stuffed into freezers at a man's Sacramento home.

Animal control officers also removed 30 live cats from 47-year-old Michael Louis Vondueren's home over the weekend.

Vondueren was arrested on suspicion of possessing an automatic weapon and obstructing police officers. Animal control officers also are considering issuing citations.

Authorities say three freezers were crammed with dead cats and the house was littered with cat feces. Police say Vondueren's 81-year-old mother also was living at the house.

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PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 11:50 pm 
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Talk about bad luck. I feel lucky when compared to this guy !
...Only in the south, this couldn't happen anywhere else.

Driver gets in wreck, sees his home catch fire, gets ticket


May 9, 5:27 PM (ET)


ROCK ISLAND, Tenn. (AP) - One moment, Justin Hill was turning into his driveway. Minutes later he was being flown to a hospital as his home went up in flames. Then he got a traffic ticket.

Hill, 42, got into a crash after turning into the path of an oncoming car Tuesday evening, said Tennessee Highway Patrol Officer Monte Terry. Hill's wife heard the crash and ran outside, leaving the kitchen stove, where she had been cooking, unattended.

Within minutes, their Rock Island trailer was on fire, and firefighters who had responded to the accident found themselves fighting the blaze.

The rural central Tennessee home had extensive damage. Hill was treated at the hospital and released, but he was cited in the accident for failure to yield.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unkle Jackie has had days almost this bad, but not quite !

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PostPosted: Wed May 14, 2008 7:23 pm 
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NY cabbie fined for cursing...
...now if we could just fine them for not bathing!

NYC cabbie is fined $1,000 for foul-mouthed tirade

May 14, 3:42 PM (ET)


NEW YORK (AP) - The days of the cursing cabbie may be over. A New York City cab driver has been fined $1,000 for launching a foul-mouthed tirade at another cabbie.

The confrontation occurred Oct. 8, 2007, on the West Side of Manhattan when neither driver had a passenger.

Driver Malik Rizwan honked at fellow cabbie Zbigniew Sobczak after Sobszak cut him off, prompting Sobszak to jump out of his cab and use a vulgarity repeatedly.

Rizwan called the police and accused Sobczak of assault.


A city administrative law judge found Sobczak guilty of verbal harassment, not assault, and recommended a $350 fine.

But Taxi and Limousine Commission Chairman Matthew Daus, in a ruling last Friday, increased the penalty to $1,000 and a 30-day suspension.

There was a time when cab drivers were given more leeway with language.

A 1982 legal decision in a case called TLC vs. Baudin found that a "driver's use of profanity during a fight with a pedestrian was not misconduct given cognizance to the realities of life in New York City."

But Daus, in a letter to Sobczak, said, "To the extent that decisions issued before my tenure, such as TLC vs. Baudin, may be read to overrule the penalty of license revocation for verbal harassment or abuse, I would override those decisions."

"The city has changed over the years," Daus said in an interview Wednesday. "It's become more civil. ... The days when drivers can curse at each other are over in my opinion."

Sobczak's lawyer, Cynthia Fischer, told the New York Post that Daus' decision was unduly harsh.

"You're asking cabbies to be inhuman and not react to ... things any one of us would react to," she said.

Fischer did not immediately return a call seeking comment Wednesday.

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PostPosted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:21 pm 
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Class, we almost forgot the oft-used weapon of these times...
...that American icon, the CAR !


Parked car thwarts purse-snatcher in Iowa

May 15, 4:00 PM (ET)


DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) - A robbery was prevented Thursday by an unusual crime-fighting tool - a parked car. Karla Gierstors of West Des Moines was walking in downtown Des Moines about 6:15 a.m. Thursday when a man threatened her with a box cutter and grabbed her purse.

A passing motorist stopped to help, and as the robber looked back at the victim he slammed into the car, dropping the purse and box cutter. He then ran away.

Nothing was missing from the purse, but the side and trunk area of the car were damaged.

---

Information from: The Des Moines Register, http://www.desmoinesregister.com

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